From other authors:

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“This book offers a clear reminder that we do not heal by leaving parts of ourselves behind—we heal by bringing them forward with care, allowing a greater truth and understanding. Rooker’s writing becomes an act of love—toward the past and the future alike.”

—Sharon Salzberg, New York Times bestselling author

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“Amy Scott Rooker’s exquisitely crafted memoir, My Mother Is a Dragonfly, is both riveting and revelatory. It is a book that had to be written—bold, beautiful, and brilliant. Amy is a profoundly gifted writer with a story of such fierce devotion to the Love that we are that it becomes a catalyst for awakening in others. You will not be able to put this book down until you’ve traveled to its end with her. There, in the silence after the words, you will rest in your own knowing of what is real and true.”

—Suzanne Eder, award-winning author, teacher, healer, and guide

 

Editorial reviews:

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Seattle Book Review

Star Rating: 5 / 5

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"In My Mother Is a Dragonfly, Amy Scott Rooker offers a memoir that is both deeply unsettling and profoundly redemptive. From its opening pages, Rooker makes clear that this is not simply a story about grief, but about survival and about what it means to live in the long shadow of childhood trauma and still dare to hope for healing. As she writes in the prologue, this is 'the story of how my mother became a dragonfly—and how her death saved my life.' That promise guides the reader through a journey that is as raw as it is luminous.

"Rooker recounts her early years in suburban New Jersey and later Connecticut, painting a portrait of a family that, from the outside, appeared polished and successful. Her father was ambitious and achievement-driven; her mother mercurial, sometimes imaginative and loving, but often emotionally absent. Beneath the veneer of affluence and expectation, however, fissures were forming. Rooker describes a childhood marked by volatility, sibling cruelty, and eventually sexual abuse at the hands of her brother, the abuse compounded by her mother’s shocking and devastating response. These scenes are written with restraint, which paradoxically makes them more powerful. The horror is not sensationalized; it is presented as lived experience, remembered with clarity and courage.

"What distinguishes this memoir is not only its honesty but its reflective depth. Rooker does not remain fixed in victimhood. Instead, she examines how trauma shaped her adolescence—her perfectionism, her hunger for achievement, her experimentation with alcohol, her divided sense of self. High school becomes a battleground of image and identity, where she oscillates between the 'good girl' persona and the hardened survivor beneath it. Her prose is emotionally intelligent, often lyrical, and threaded with self-awareness. Even in her darkest recollections, there is an undercurrent of compassion for her younger self. The memoir’s spiritual dimension emerges most clearly after her mother’s death, when a dragonfly appears in a moment of rupture and grief. This image becomes a symbol of transformation, guiding Rooker toward psychedelic-assisted healing, self-inquiry, and ultimately forgiveness. Readers open to discussions of mystical experience and alternative healing modalities will find this portion especially compelling. Those more skeptical may still appreciate the emotional truth beneath it: the longing to reclaim one’s life from inherited silence and shame.

"Rooker writes with the steady voice of a woman who has done difficult interior work. She does not excuse harmful behavior, but she does attempt to understand it by exploring generational patterns, unspoken family contracts, and the possibility that pain can become a portal rather than a prison. The tone is reflective rather than accusatory, and that restraint gives the book its quiet strength.
 

"My Mother Is a Dragonfly will resonate most with readers who appreciate memoirs of resilience and spiritual transformation. Fans of trauma-recovery narratives, mother–daughter explorations, and stories of post-traumatic growth will find much to sit with here. It would appeal to readers of reflective nonfiction who value emotional depth over tidy resolution. Book clubs interested in discussing family dynamics, generational wounds, and the meaning of forgiveness will find rich material for conversation.

"This is not an easy book, but it is a brave one. And in its bravery, it offers something tender: the reminder that healing may not be about fixing what was broken, but about remembering who we were before the breaking began."

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Midwest Book Review

 

"My Mother is a Dragonfly is a memoir about trauma and transformation that opens with a dead mother’s return with a gift for her daughter. Amy Scott Rooker thought she was dreaming until she looked out of her Cabo hotel window to espy hundreds of dragonflies. It was like 'reality had reordered itself while I slept.'

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"Thus a journey unfolds that speaks about a mother who was imperfect, who withheld love, and whose death almost broke her daughter. Readers won’t expect the reflection that a mother’s death saved her daughter’s life, but this and other insights create powerful memories about growing up and moving out and upward. Rooker eventually confronted many of the problems that buffeted her upbringing and relationships at home.

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"Rooker’s coming of age and departure from her familiar home is delivered with an engrossing consideration of patterns instantly broken as a result: 'I sat crosslegged on the thin dorm mattress, boxes still stacked around me. And then—silence. No voices down the hall. No brother around a corner. No one whispering my name. No one trying to find me. I didn’t recognize the feeling. It was small but throbbing. I wouldn’t be able to name it for a long time. All I knew was: I wasn’t a target. No one here knew who I was. I was the same as everyone else. Invisible in my sameness. And it felt like flying. For the first time in my life, I got to choose. Classes. Sports. Friends. Food. I picked my own major. Woke up when I wanted. Ate french fries for dinner if I felt like it. All the rules hemming me in dissolved overnight, and I was left to wonder what I actually wanted. I didn’t know where to start.'

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"Many a young and new adult will readily relate to the author’s wish that she had a different kind of mother as a child – one 'who smothered me in kisses. Who told me I could be anything, do anything. Who called me sweet pet names—Amy-lou, sweetheart, my angel. The kind of mom who’d say she plucked me from the stars—no other star would do. It was me or nothing, she’d tell the cosmos. Proclaiming it over and over. Until I was sick with the mushiness of it.'

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"My Mother is a Dragonfly is a hard-hitting memoir of family, forgiveness, trauma, and recovery. It is especially highly recommended for anyone facing the impact of a mother who may not as been as loving and dedicated as the common image holds.

 

"Librarians and readers looking for powerful memoirs of mother/daughter relationships will appreciate how the story unfolds with a combination of brutal assessment and loving embrace. They will especially appreciate the value of the book for readers and reading groups seeking mother/daughter inspections and revelations that will prompt powerful thoughts and discussions."